While channel-surfing through TV programs yesterday evening, I came across one dealing with brain development. Just then, the commentator stated that smiles were the same all over the world. I hope he was referring to physiognomy and the way we use facial muscles to form a smile. It is certainly not true when one interprets the meaning of a smile.
Just think of Thailand, the Land of Smiles, where smiles are supposedly
a way of life, and you have a very different scenario. Smiles in Thailand can have a broad range of meanings. Thais smile to say ‘hello’, to say ‘thank you’, to agree, to imply ‘never mind’, and even to excuse themselves. Smiles also forestall or diffuse conflict and smooth out unpleasantness. Added to that, laughter for no apparent reason can signal embarrassment and that it is time to change the subject. That’s quite a broad range of non-verbal clues for a Westerner, who has a much more limited range of meanings attached to a smile, to interpret context correctly. Fortunately…or not… I’ve noticed that smiles for Westerners are not as abundant since the Asian economic meltdown ten years ago. When one is the recipient of a smile, it tends to be more perfunctory. Consequently, there may be less to interpret. And, even when you may interpret a smile correctly, you may be flummoxed because many Asians, especially women, often cover their mouth when smiling or laughing to avoid showing teeth.
It is not just smiles that can be misinterpreted because non-verbal communications are not universal. One of the more common non-verbal gestures, and possibly one of the more egregious, is the American ‘OK’ signal with the thumb and forefinger touching. Sometimes it can mean ‘zero’; more often, in countries as far and wide as Russia and Brazil, it symbolizes a very vulgar gesture and should be avoided at all costs.
Other gestures and body language can also be considered insulting. The ankle crossed over the knee, showing the soles of one‘s shoes, is very insulting throughout the Middle East where one never shows the soles of one’s feet to another because it implies that they are beneath contempt.
If you are nodding your head in agreement, think again. In Bulgaria and much of Eastern and Mediterranean Europe, the vertical nod of the head means ‘no’ whereas the horizontal nod is a nod of agreement. When the Chinese nod or grunt during a conversation, they are not necessarily agreeing with you either. The nods and grunts imply that they are listening, not agreeing. The Japanese response to indicate that they hear you, and, again, not that they agree with you, is the more verbal hai or yes.
These are but a few of the non-verbal communicators that may have a much different message than you are receiving. So, how does a savvy executive master the art of non-verbal conversation? First, keep gestures and facial expressions to a minimum in non-Latin countries. In addition to learning at least a few basic words in the other culture’s language, learn the basics of their non-verbal communication and gestures, too. And, when in doubt, ask someone familiar with both American English and the local language what certain gestures mean.